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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128083">it was enchanting to meet you.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iameasytofind/pseuds/iameasytofind'>iameasytofind</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Imagine Me And You AU, and even more dubious knowledge of wedding formalities, dubious knowledge of flowers, even more dubious knowledge of british slang, no one dies you can read safely i gotchu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:15:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iameasytofind/pseuds/iameasytofind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In that moment, Dani felt something she had never felt before. It was as if, for the first time in a very long time, something very small was struggling to make its way into her chest, willing to fight the deep darkness she carried with her everywhere. Something she once knew, many years ago,but that she had forced out of herself. Something she couldn’t allow herself to want. But, turning back to have one last glance at the unknown woman, Dani realized with horror that she wanted it. That maybe, just maybe, this was what she’d been waiting for her whole life. </p><p>//Dani Clayton is getting married, and Jamie is in charge of arranging the flowers for the event. Imagine Me &amp; You AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dani Clayton/Jamie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>142</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. your eyes whispered "have we met?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! First of all, thanks for reading. As you can see, I took a lot of liberties with this one, such as giving Dani a bigger family, a best friend and a vague reference to Taylor Swift being a lesbian. I obviously appreciate any sort of feedback, both positive and negative (please give me feedback), and promise to update this one as soon as possible. Again, thanks for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When thinking of all the ways in which her wedding could turn out, all the ways in which it could be ruined - whether by herself or others - Dani never imagined she would find herself in quite this situation: still wrapped in a robe an hour away from the big moment, kneeling on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, and splurting the contents from that morning - and last night - onto the toilet. At least she didn’t get any on her hair. <em>How charming.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Dani? Are you okay?” asked her best friend and maid of honor, Eleanor, from the other side of the door. Dani wiped her mouth on the back of her hand in a manner that her mother would definitely disapprove, and swallowed roughly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, just a second.”</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you don’t want me to come in?” </p><p> </p><p>The last thing she needed was to have her best friend see her like this - not that Eleanor had never held her hair while Dani vomited, they had shared many nights of partying which inevitably ended with either of them throwing up, but this time she was sure that if the girl were to walk into that bathroom, Dani would have no choice but to tell her the truth, and everything would fall apart. She simply wouldn’t be able to go through with it.</p><p>
  <em> Go through with what? You want this. You’ve always wanted this.  </em>
</p><p>Well, yes and no. Edmund and her had been friends for as long as she could remember, there was not a single memory of her childhood in which the boy, with his curly hair and giant glasses, had not been present. But that didn’t mean that Dani wanted to spend the rest of her life with him - not in that way. She had, though, figured out long ago that if it had to be with a man - which it <em> had </em>to be, no question, her parents had made that very clear - it might as well be Edmund. </p><p>Dating him had not been that bad, or at least not as bad as she’d expected. Things were exactly the same way they had always been between them, except for the fact that Edmund looked at her differently now, or maybe he looked at her the way he always had, and Dani had to pretend to look at him the same way. She had to kiss him, and do other things, and pretend it made her feel <em> good </em>, that it didn’t make her want to drown herself or take her own life in other similarly tragic ways. She had to pretend with their friends, who were deeply moved by the whole story of childhood best friends turned lovers, and were convinced Dani had been in love with Edmund for as long as he had been in love with her, and she had been just playing hard to get all these years. </p><p>Yet, when he asked her, it was sudden and rushed. Not at all how Dani expected something like that to happen. A marriage proposal was something big and important, something that a person wouldn’t really ask unless they were sure the other person would say yes, not something to just throw around after a couple months of dating, and specially not when that person didn’t know their partner at all. But it was not his fault that the person he knew was not really Dani, it was nobody’s fault but hers.</p><p>So when one night after months of dating, months which seemed to last ages for her, months in which she cried in the shower and threw up after sex, always waiting until he was asleep so he wouldn’t hear a thing, months in which she tried to convince herself that this was what she wanted, Edmun had asked her Dani had said yes. It didn’t matter that she didn’t actually mean it. Edmund was kind and charming and his breath always smelled nice. And he loved Dani so very much. And her family loved him. It was perfect. It could’ve been perfect.</p><p> </p><p>Dani stood up and opened the faucet on the sink, letting the cold water run on her palms before bringing it up to her face. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She did not look like a happy, soon to be bride at all.She didn’t even look like herself. <em>What’s wrong with you?</em> <em>You should be more thankful. </em>Of course she should. She could’ve ended up forced to marry someone else, some man she wouldn’t even know, at least not the way she knew Edmund, some man who would treat her like crap and demand sex anytime he felt like it, regardless of whether Dani wanted it or not, and would eventually leave her for someone else.</p><p>Instead, she was moments away from having the wedding of her dreams with the only man in the world she would’ve done it with. Not many women had such luck.</p><p>Dani closed the faucet and picked up the towel to dry her face.</p><p>Eleanor knocked on the door, impatiently. </p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, you’re freaking me out. I’m going in-”</p><p> </p><p>She was interrupted by Dani, who opened the door. A bright, radiant smile adorning her face. She lifted her arms up triumphantly. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s do this.”</p><p>-</p><p>Outside, people began to gather around the modest yet beautiful church. Friends and family alike had picked out their best clothes for the occasion, even the kids, who were trying their best to resist the temptation of rolling around in the grass or scraping their knees on the pavement. </p><p>Flora, against her entire family’s warnings, wearing a sunflower patterned dress her mother had gotten her specially for that day, snuck behind her older brother, Miles, and tapped him on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re it!” She yelled, and prepared to start running any second. Her brother, however, turned around very slowly, an annoyed look on his face.</p><p><br/>“Not now, Flora.” He replied, a hint of condescendence on his voice. “We have to behave.” His hand reached out to accommodate the tiny bowtie on his neck.  It had been like that for a while now, Miles was growing up, and Flora wished she knew why he never wanted to play with her anymore. </p><p> </p><p>Disappointed, Flora stuck her tongue out at him, before running away in search of other kids who, like her, had decided to disobey all the rules of parents and fancy clothes to play in the sun. Not paying any mind to her surroundings, she bumped onto someone. A lady. Flora almost fell to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi! Watch it, you piece of-” She started, before looking down at Flora and cutting herself abruptly after discovering that she wasn’t some dumb adult who wasn’t watching their step, but a child. She carried an arrangement of brightly colored, fresh looking flowers on both her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, shit. Sorry. My bad.” The lady gently put the flowers on the ground, and kneeled down so she was eye to eye with Flora. When she spoke again, her voice was entirely different. Softer.</p><p> </p><p>“You gotta be more careful, kid. Imagine if we’d run into each other, and I dropped the flowers.They would be completely ruined, and there would be no wedding. We wouldn’t want that, right? “</p><p> </p><p>Flora blinked once, twice.</p><p> </p><p>“There would be a wedding, there just wouldn’t be any flowers.” She explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t have a wedding without flowers. Something would be missing.” The lady turned to look at the flowers, then back at Flora and her dress. “You like flowers?”</p><p> </p><p>Flora nodded immediately, a small smile making its way onto her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on then, pick one.” </p><p> </p><p>Flora stared at the lady, confused. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious. Pick the one you like the most. I’ll promise not to tell anyone you almost ruined the flowers if you promise not to tell I almost called you a piece of shit.”</p><p> </p><p>Flora glanced at the flowers, concentrating, as if this was the hardest, most important decision she ever had to make. And at that age, it might as well had been. Her eyes wandered from the summer yellows to the deep reds, before setting on a perfectly white flower. Her tiny index went forward to point at it, and the lady reached out and picked it out very carefully. She then extended it to Flora, who took it in her hand and stared at it with fascination.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you want that one? There’s so many beautiful colors.”</p><p> </p><p>Flora nodded.</p><p><br/>“I like this one.” She brought the flowers close to her nose and took in the scent. “It’s perfectly splendid.” </p><p> </p><p>The lady let out a laugh at the occurrence, before standing back up and picking up the arrangement of flowers again. Flora watched her intently. Her hair was neatly done, yet not as neat as Flora’s or her mom’s who had spent hours on it, and her brown locks framed her face. Her clothes were not like theirs, either, but rather more similar to Miles’ or her dad’s. Flora wondered why she wasn’t wearing a dress. She seemed out of place.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you invited to the wedding?” Flora asked, looking up curiously. The lady smiled at her. A warm, genuine smile, not the type of smile adults gave kids when they asked something stupid. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m just here to deliver the flowers. They did say I could stay and catch something to nibble on, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Panic took over Flora. If she hadn’t been invented, then where would she sit? Everyone was to sit with their family, or people they knew, so they could have things to talk about. Would she have to sit by herself, in the back of the room, and spend the entire night without talking to anyone?</p><p> </p><p>“If you stay, you can sit with us. You don’t know anyone here - but you know me now.  You can sit with us so you won’t have to be alone.”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t know each other, kid.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Flora.” She stated, plainly. “There, now we know each other. What’s your name?”</p><p> </p><p>The lady sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, nice to meet you, Flora. I’m Jamie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jamie.” Flora repeated, trying out the new word. “That’s a nice name. Perfectly-”</p><p> </p><p>“Splendid?” Jamie interrupted her. She gave Flora a wink before walking away.</p><p>-</p><p>“Dani, calm down. You look beautiful.” </p><p>Eleanor zipped Dani’s dress and hugged her from behind, her head resting on Dani’s shoulder. Dani looked at the two figures in the mirror. Eleanor was wearing the pastel pink dress Dani had picked for the maids of honor - which weren’t really that many, just a handful of friends she knew from high school, some of which Dani wasn’t even sure she wanted as her maids of honor - and her hair was done in a very delicate yet simple way. She looked like she could cry at any second, and definitely more excited about the wedding than Dani herself. And there was no reason for her not to, as far as she knew, her best friend in the whole world was insanely in love with a man and she was about to marry said man. </p><p>She remembered when Eleanor took days off work to go with her to look at dresses, how she was the only person Dani wanted to do this with, and how she never complained when the search began to extend way more than anyone would have expected. There was never a frown, or a <em> Dani, just pick a fucking dress </em>, only cheery music on the car ride and fast food on the way home. And when they finally decided on the perfect dress, Eleanor looked at her the exact same way she was looking at her now. </p><p>Dani, on the other hand, looked like she belonged anywhere but there. She thought that once she was ready, with her makeup done and inside the dress she had spent so long deciding on, everything would click, like some scene from a princess movie. But it hadn’t. The woman in front of her was not someone she recognised. </p><p>Eleanor stared at her. </p><p> </p><p>“You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” She said, softly. And Dani wished it was that simple. Dani wished she had the kind of life in which she could just walk away from the things she didn’t want to do without anyone getting hurt. “I can make a distraction and you can run out the back. We’ll be in Mexico in no time.” She joked, but she could tell Dani was not laughing at all. “Hey.” Eleanor turned her around so they were facing each other, placed her hands on her shoulders. She was serious now. “What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Dani shook her head, holding back the tears. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just....I’ve been dreaming of this for so long.” She lied. “I’m scared it will go wrong, somehow. Like, Steven will get drunk and throw up on my dress or something.”</p><p> </p><p>Eleanor squinted her eyes, and Dani feared that she could see through it, through everything, for a second. Then her factions relaxed and her lips curled into a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not gonna happen. It’s your wedding, and it’s gonna be perfect. I’m gonna make sure of that.” She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Dani’s ear. “Even if I have to kick Steven out myself.” That was enough to make Dani crack a smile, the tension removed from over her shoulders for a brief moment. “I’ll do it, I’m serious.” Eleanor continued,though she was laughing, and Dani knew she meant it.</p><p>-</p><p>The time was getting closer, the guests had abandoned the small talk on the entrance to make their way to their seats. Some were still chatting excitedly, without a doubt catching up, while some prepared their cameras and other, less fortunate ones, tried to get their kids to be quiet for a second. </p><p>As she finished arranging the flowers on the side of the room, was already regretting having accepted the kid’s invitation, thinking about the fact that she’d have to spend the night with a bunch of people she didn’t know from anywhere, and considered the idea of leaving as soon as the flowers were done, just to spare herself the suffering. But it was a wedding, after all. And Jamie liked weddings, even if marriage was not a possibility for herself. Beside, it had been so long since she’d had a fun night out,or fun in general. She figured it couldn’t hurt.</p><p>Once the flowers were done, she took a step back and admired her work. It looked absolutely gorgeous, and for a second she felt a stab of pain at the thought that probably no one would notice the flowers anyway. The room was decorated from floor to ceiling, and even if it weren’t, people were there for the lucky couple, not to stare at the decorations. </p><p> </p><p>“They look perfectly splendid.” Came from behind her a voice that was beginning to become familiar. Jamie rolled her eyes and turned towards Flora, who was still holding the white flower in her tiny hand, twirling the stem between her fingers. </p><p> </p><p>“Why, thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know grown ups will be too busy to notice, so I wanted to tell you I like them.” Jamie stood blank for a second, before giving the kid a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I told ya, can’t have a wedding without flowers. Even if only one person sees them, and thinks they look nice, then my job is done. Sometimes all you need is one person to notice.”</p><p> </p><p>“I noticed.”</p><p> </p><p>“You notice a lot of things, don’t ya?” </p><p> </p><p>Flora nodded, grinning from ear to ear. </p><p>A woman, dressed in a very expensive looking blue dress, came up to them and gently placed a hand on Flora’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p><br/>“Darling, stop bothering the florist and come sit with us.”</p><p> </p><p>Flora frowned at the woman, she looked almost offended.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s coming with us. She's my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>The woman, Flora’s mother, Jamie figured, turned to look at her, an apologetic look on her graceful face. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. Flora can be like that sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, don’t worry.” Jamie replied, stuffing her hands on her pockets with certain nervousness. “I don’t really know anyone here, and besides Flora was so polite, I don’t know how anyone could’ve said no.”</p><p> </p><p>The woman kept looking at her, though her smile, strictly polite, never faltered. Jamie could tell she was not exactly thrilled over spending the ceremony, and probably the night, with a complete stranger simply because her daughter had decided it was the perfect day to make friends. Jamie knew she wouldn’t be if the roles were swapped. However, if she thought that, she didn’t say a thing. Instead, she turned to Flora, who was looking at both of them expectantly, and her smile grew wider. It was the smile, Jamie thought, of a mother who could never bring herself to say no to her child. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright then, if the lady doesn’t mind.”</p><p> </p><p>Flora clapped with excitement and grabbed a hold of Jamie’s hand, beginning to tug her across the room. Jamie followed, glancing uncomfortably to Flora’s mother, who followed behind both of them, smiling reassuringly.</p><p>They reached a bench close to the altar, closer than Jamie would’ve liked. Sitting there were two men, one of which stood up at the sight of Flora’s mother to make room for her, and a kid who was wearing a suit that was a bit too big for him. He looked like he was merely playing to be an adult. <em> Great, not one kid, but two. Fucking hell. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Charlotte…?” Began one of the men, the one who didn’t stand up. He looked confused and slightly annoyed. Charlotte turned to Jamie as if she’d forgotten she was there.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! This is Flora’s new friend, Jamie.” She explained, and then gestured for them to sit down. Without letting go of her hand, Flora sat down on the bench and left a space for Jamie to sit next to her. It was the edge of the bench, and Jamie felt very self-conscious all of a sudden. It was no place for someone who didn’t even know who was getting married, but her other choice was to sit next to one of the men, which she wasn’t looking forward to. Regardless, it seemed like Flora was not willing to let go of her.</p><p>Jamie sighed, it was going to be a long wedding.</p><p><br/>-</p><p>If things had been bad until then, now that Eleanor had left to go take her respective place and Dani was completely alone, they could only go worse. Dani had been pacing around the room since she’d left, thinking about the day she told her parents she was getting married or, rather, the day Edmund told her parents they were getting married.</p><p> </p><p>It had been a sunday night, and they had just sat down for dinner, as it was usual in the Clayton household. Once or twice a month, Dani and Edmund were invited to eat with them and catch up, which meant having to work harder to sell the perfect life they seemed to share together, and answer all the typical questions about when they were going to tie the knot and when would the children follow. It made Dani sick to her stomach. One thing was to coerce herself into sleeping with Edmund, but it was something else entirely to be pregnant with his child. Not that she would hate the kid - it wouldn’t be their fault at all, it was just that she couldn’t stand the idea of it. Some women just weren’t born to be mothers, and Dani was sure that was the case with her. </p><p>As much as Dani despised it, their reaction was very emotive; both of them on the verge of tears, holding Dani as they repeated that they were very proud of her, and that they hoped they would be very happy together, because they made a beautiful couple and deserved it. Because Dani deserved it. It was something that Dani knew she would have a hard time forgetting.</p><p>Harder to forget, and completely opposite in the emotional sense, was the reaction her father had had, many years ago, when he had caught Dani and one of her high school friends, Taylor, in her bedroom. They weren’t really doing anything, as much as Dani would have liked to. After all they were teenagers and very good friends, but it was no secret in town that Taylor liked girls, and thus Dani’s parents decided that she could no longer see her, invite her to her house, or even hang out with her at school. Whatever went on in Taylor’s household was their business, but they didn’t want Dani hanging out with a <em> dyke, </em> her father had said, and her mother had told him that he couldn’t use that word, that Dani was not supposed to hear it.</p><p>It was not so much the loss of a friend who was very dear to her, but rather the ominous presence of something that had been foreign to her until then, and that would follow her around like a ghost for the years to come. It no longer reminded Dani of the nice, warm things that Taylor made her feel, but rather the anger in her father’s voice as he spat out the word, and the less violent, but not for that any less disgusted look on her mom’s face. It was a promise, a promise that she was wrong and that she would never be deserving of happiness.</p><p>On that day, Dani discovered that there were things that she couldn’t have, and sacrifices that she would have to make in order to be able to sleep at night. Marrying Edmund was one of those sacrifices. </p><p> </p><p>She continued to pace. She wondered what would happen if she decided not to get married. She wondered if her family and friends would believe that she just wasn’t in love with Edmund the way she thought she was or if they’d know the truth. She wondered if they’d stop talking to her, she knew her parents probably would.She wondered where she’d go if that were to happen. But most importantly, she wondered what that truth even was. All she knew was, that since she had use of reason, something had been missing in her. She could feel it, like a gaping hole in the middle of her chest that would hurt as she lied awake at night, staring at the ceiling. Like something she once had and lost, and now had no way of ever getting it back because she didn’t know what it was exactly, because the idea she had of it scared her, hanging over her like a dark cloud that threatened to ruin everything in her life. </p><p>What she <em>did</em> know, was that being with Edmund did nothing to fix it, and therefore what she was looking for could never be there by his side. </p><p>But Dani <em> was </em>what Edmund had been looking for his entire life, and if he was lucky enough to have found it, if she could bring to him the happiness and fulfilment she wished she could find, then Dani could not bring herself to take that away from him. Not after all the things they had shared together. After all, it wasn’t Edmund’s fault.</p><p>Another knock on the door took her out of her thoughts. Dani opened it to find her dad, looking more presentable than he had in years. There was no trace of the man who threatened to beat her up if he ever caught her hanging out with Taylor again, or with any girl who was <em> like that </em>. Dani wondered if he even remembered it. Instead, the man standing in front of her was trying, and failing, to stop himself from crying at the sight of his daughter in her wedding dress. Dani felt her heart ache.</p><p> </p><p>“You look beautiful.”  Was all he could manage to say, before breaking into tears. Dani stepped out of the room and intertwined her arm with his. After he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his eyes, they began to make their way out.</p><p>-</p><p>The place was packed: everyone Dani knew and everyone Edmund knew was there, distributed on the benches, the maids of honor and best men on the privileged seats. A small peak down the hall was enough to get Dani’s heart racing again. She lifted her chin up and forced herself to remain calm. Her father gave her a reassuring smile, and before she could really take in what was happening, they were talking toward the altar. </p><p>On the other side of the room, right next to the priest, Edmund stood in a flawless suit, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth, not before Dani could catch a glimpse of the widest, most shiny smile Dani had ever seen on his face in all the years they had known each other. It was a dream come true, except this wasn’t Dani’s dream at all. But how she wished it could be.</p><p>Maybe if she tried hard enough, in time, it could be. No marriage was perfect from the beginning, it was something people built, very slowly and with patience, over the course of many years. Maybe it would be like that for them. Even if Dani didn’t love Edmund, even if right now she felt like she could never love him, maybe one day she would wake up and things would be different. And maybe the emptiness in her chest would be filled. She had to remind herself that this wouldn’t last forever. It couldn’t.</p><p>Dani kept repeating this to herself with every step she took, as a way to stop herself from turning back and running as far as her feet would take her. She wondered, if she had said yes, if Eleanor would have actually covered up for her, or if she was just saying it to get her to calm down. As she kept moving forward, she looked at all the familiar faces she passed. Friends, family, all gathered together despite the difficulties of life to see two people they loved very dearly unite for the rest of their lives. She felt tears well up in her own eyes, if not for the marriage itself for the way such demonstration of love overwhelmed her, and she allowed herself to cry. No one would ever know the real motive. </p><p>They were getting closer to the altar, and Dani kept looking. On one side, surrounded by Dani’s closest relatives, her mother tried to dry her tears, to no avail. On the other side, the Wingrave family, very dear friends to them both, looked almost like a painting. Dani turned to give little Flora a smile, when her eyes landed on an unknown face.</p><p>She knew she didn’t know this woman from anywhere because of the simple fact that if she had, there would’ve been no way she would’ve forgotten her.  For a second that seemed to last forever, Dani stood there, unable to move. She felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her lungs all of a sudden. She struggled to get some of that air back, at least enough to keep going, but the woman would not take her eyes away from hers. </p><p>Dani, as compelled as she felt to keep going - she was so close, after all, to making it, to getting it over with, knowing that everything would be so much easier after that one moment - found that she couldn’t look away either, or perhaps it was that she didn’t want to. Her heart caught in her throat, and she got scared that it wouldn’t be Steven throwing up on her dress, but herself. Yet, the woman did look away. She turned to Flora, who was saying something in her ear, and the spell was broken. There was something, and then the next second, there was nothing. It was an ephemeral moment that Dani felt would never be repeated. It was gone. And now she had no choice but to face forward and keep walking to the altar, where the person she forced herself to believe was the love of her life was expecting her. Where the promise of safety and stability, the promise that she wouldn’t have to cry at night anymore, was waiting for her. </p><p>Yet in that moment, Dani felt something she had never felt before. It was as if, for the first time in a very long time, something very small was struggling to make its way into her chest, willing to fight the deep darkness she carried with her everywhere. Something she once knew, many years ago,but that she had forced out of herself. Something she couldn’t allow herself to want. But, turning back to have one last glance at the unknown woman, Dani realized with horror that she wanted it. That maybe, just maybe, this was what she’d been waiting for her whole life. </p><p>She eventually reached the altar, and her father abandoned her side so she could go up to where Edmund and the priest and comfort and all things nice waited for her. She pushed all of her thoughts aside and finally took her place. </p><p> </p><p>“We are gathered here today...” The priest began. He was a tall, young man that was in charge of the sunday service at the local church. “to unite two lives that have long been intertwined in holy matrimony. So I hope you have saved yourselves for this, because if you’ve been living in sin then I know at least three people who would be very upset.”</p><p> </p><p>Laughter spread across the room. Dani shifted uncomfortably.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m joking, Jesus is a personal friend of mine so he turned a bit of a blind eye. As with any good wedding, I’m assuming there are vows?”</p><p> </p><p>Edmund quickly fished a crumpled piece of paper from one of his pockets, because of course he would. He took a step towards Dani, who suddenly took consciousness of the fact that she hadn't written anything, and that she was arguably the worst when it came to improvisation.</p><p> </p><p>“Danielle. I’ve known you since we were five years old, and I have loved you since then. Even though I didn’t really know what love was then, and even though you would always steal my Max Steeles because your parents wouldn’t buy you a Ken doll for your Barbies.” Dani chuckled, Edmund had not looked like that, like her best friend, in so long. “You have always been there for me, whether it was something small like that time my hamster died or when I got my heart broken by a girl for the first time. Maybe if I had realized I liked you sooner then that would’ve never happened. Uh, anyway.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “The thing is, you have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and there’s nothing I want more than to continue to have you in it until I’m old and ugly and can’t remember anything anymore...I kinda improvised this last bit. Still, what’s not improvised is my love for you, and it never will be. Dani Clayton, I hope you say yes because this wedding has been very expensive.”</p><p>Laughter erupted again, and then it was Dani’s turn to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Edmund, uh… That’s not fair, you used all the childhood memories and now I can’t include them on my vows.” That earned her a laugh from the guests, which eased her up a bit. “So you leave me no choice but to talk about the time you cried while watching E.T. We were ten, and we were having a sleepover at Henry’s. After everyone went to sleep we were both still awake, and you continued crying. You just couldn’t stop crying. And I remember...I remember I held your hand until you fell asleep. And the morning after…”</p><p> </p><p>“You told Henry that it was you that had been crying.” Edmund helped her out.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I told Henry it had been me. And they laughed at me for an entire semester. Still, I didn’t regret it, and I would’ve done it a thousand times more. I’m glad you’re no longer a crybaby, but that you’re still that sensitive kid that cried when E.T had to leave. I was very happy to hold your hand back then, and I am even happier to be able to continue doing it.”</p><p> </p><p>After she was done, Dani noticed she was not as nervous as she had been the entire day. She had remembered that, underneath all of that, they were still Dani and Edmund, he was still her best friend, and regardless of how much things could change, that would always remain the same.</p><p> </p><p>“That was beautiful.” The priest resumed, taking a step forward. “But we gotta get this done before the lady has time to regret it.” More laughter. “Edmund Quint, do you take Danielle Clayton to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, to be faithful only to her,  for as long as you both shall live?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do.” Edmund replied, without a hint of hesitation.</p><p> </p><p>“And do you, Danielle Clayton, take Edmund Quint to be your lawfully wedded husband, to cherish in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, to love him faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?” </p><p> </p><p>Dani swallowed roughly. She wished it had been as easy for her as it had been for Edmund, that she could be as sure of her feelings as he was. That she could love him, as much as he loved her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I do.” She said, as she had many times before, without actually wanting to.</p><p> </p><p>“Then I declare you two the most beautiful husband and wife I’ve seen this week. You may kiss the bride.”</p><p> </p><p>Edmund stepped closer, taking both of Dani’s hands on his own, before leaning forward to press a kiss on her lips. It did not feel any different than any of the other kisses there had been, there was no magic in it as Dani had expected. It just felt <em> wrong </em>, as it always had.</p><p>Then both Flora and Miles walked up to them, the girl tossing rose petals from a small basket, a white flower intertwined in her hair, and the boy holding a small box with two rings in it. They were very simple, two golden rings with a small inscription on the inside that they had picked together. Nothing too fancy. Edmund turned to the kids and ruffled Miles’ hair with his hand, who gave him an annoyed glance. He then leaned down to pick up one of the rings, and Dani extended her hand to him almost automatically. And it might as well have been, because it felt entirely mechanical to her. Edmund slipped the ring on her finger with ease, and then it was her turn to do the same. Dani grabbed the ring from the tiny box, and Edmund wiggled his fingers in front of her with a smile. For a short, uncomfortable moment, Dani could not get her hands to stop shaking. Eventually, she landed the ring on the respective finger, and then Edmund was pulling her in for  another kiss. Both Miles and Flora made gagging sounds next to them. </p><p>Afterwards, it was all cheering and applause and Eleanor yelling in excitement over the crowd. Edmund wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, and Dani allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy something as simple as a hug from the man who had held her so many times before. When she opened her eyes, she found her way back to the unknown woman, who was staring at her once again. Her eyes were soft and comforting, and something in them said <em> I know you don’t want this.  </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. forcing laughter, faking smiles.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello again! I just want to say thank you to anyone who read the first chapter, commented or left kudos. Very nice of you. For this chapter I did a quick rewatch of the film, so hopefully it is closer to the source material than the previous chapter. Anyway. I hope whoever is reading this enjoys it and obviously feedback is always welcome.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you don't want this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The woman had not uttered a single word at Dani, yet she felt as if she understood exactly what she was thinking. But how could she? They didn't even know each other. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I panicked, that's all</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dani and Edmund were the groom and bride, everyone present in that room knew them, and everyone was very likely staring at them. It was obvious that, had Dani taken the time to look around the room, her eyes would've found many more staring back at her than the ones belonging to that woman. And yet…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And yet, what? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She just got married. The only person she should be focusing on was Edmund, who was right in front of her, with a puzzled look on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?” Came from him, softly, as if they were sharing a secret. And, in a way, they were. Marriage was essentially a secret between two people, which lasted for as long as they could -or wanted to- keep it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Dani snapped out of it, barely aware that she had been trailing off. “The flowers.” She replied, the first thing her scared eyes had landed on. If she had been honest, this was the first time she’d noticed them in the entire ceremony. It was a beautiful work, though: distributed along the entire room were the most magnificent flowers Dani had ever seen. Though she wasn’t exactly an expert. But they looked nice, and that was enough, she figured. “They’re very pretty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are you.” Edmund smiled at her, then turned to the flowers. “I picked them myself. Well, not exactly, but they did show me arrangements and I chose between those. So.” He glanced toward the tables, where the woman Dani had seen earlier was downing a glass of wine as Flora excitedly chatted with her. If she was bored with the conversation, she was kind enough to hide it. Dani’s eyes lingered for a moment, taking in the scene. Then, she forced herself to look away. “The florist was really nice. She told me that particular arrangement symbolized love and union. And peace.” Well, at least one of those things was right. Dani did feel at peace looking at them, it was as if they made her disappear into a quiet, isolated garden instead of being in the middle of a wedding, if she concentrated enough. So she was the florist. All of a sudden, Dani couldn't stand the sight of the floral arrangements. All the nice, tranquil feelings taken away from her in a matter of seconds. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well done, florist lady</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “So I invited her to the wedding, as a thank-you, I guess. We did have that spare seat after Timothy bailed. I hope you didn’t mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course Timothy bailed.” Was all she could muster. She didn’t mind that Edmund had invited the florist, but she did mind that she had showed up, which was selfish of her. She couldn’t just kick someone out of her wedding because she made her uncomfortable, especially when the only thing she had done was look at her. But then again, the way she looked at her...Dani felt a shudder down her spine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>”It was nice of you to invite her. You’re lovely.” Dani said, and pressed a kiss to Edmund’s lips that surprised both of them. Then, she extended her hand toward him. “May I have this dance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Edmund smiled at her, slipping his hand onto hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This and all the others to come.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, how did you grow this flower?” Flora had been asking questions for the past hour, and Jamie had run out of ways to mask the fact that she wasn’t drinking exactly soda, and that she probably needed a couple more glasses if she was going to get through the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next to them, the kids’ father and someone who Jamie assumed was his brother, made some small talk over wine, though it was easy to tell they would rather be anywhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the floor, Charlotte Wingrave danced with her son, who was barely half her size and stepped on her toes quite often. Before that, Miles had asked Jamie to dance with him,which the florist politely refused, arguing that she and Flora were having a very important conversation about flowers. It wasn’t completely bad, Flora asked mainly about her job at the flower shop, and Jamie replied to every single one of them because she didn’t want Flora to think she was annoying her. After a while, Miles had grown bored, and asked his mother to dance with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not far from where the two of them were dancing -or trying to- the groom and bride were dancing as well, although with much more grace than Charlotte and Miles. The groom -Edmund, she remembered because he came to pick the flowers personally- looked as if he had won a million dollars. And he might as well have: his wife was breathtakingly beautiful. Still, Jamie noticed that she didn’t look anywhere near as happy as him. Because of her job, she had been to quite a fair share of weddings, and she had seen all kinds of things. But very few times she’d seen a bride as unhappy as that woman. She looked as someone who was starting to regret making a decision, and Jamie was trying to figure out exactly what that decision was. Was it the clearly improvised vows she had said to her husband, or one of the invitees that shouldn’t be there? Or, much worse, was it the choice of getting married in general? Either way, no one else seemed to notice. It was uncomfortable to watch. And yet, Jamie realized she couldn’t take her eyes off her. Throughout the night, she had found herself sneaking glances at the woman, as if she were being pulled toward it by some sort of gravity, and pretending to be deeply invested in whatever Flora was telling her each time her eyes found Jamie’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The same way I grow all of ‘em.”  She smiled at the kid, who still had the flower, now a bit crumpled and beginning to wither due to the lack of water, in her hand. Flora still looked at it like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. “You plant ‘em, you put a bit of water and a bit of love, and after a while you get a flower.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love?” Flora asked, looking up at the florist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Duh. Flowers need a lot of love. Otherwise, they get sad and they die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They die?!” She asked, suddenly growing concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jamie tried her best not to laugh. She nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why you need to take good care of that flower, kid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do love it. I’m giving it a lot of love.” Flora squeezed the flower between her tiny fingers. She then noticed Jamie’s eyes returning to the dance floor, and followed her gaze. “Do you want to dance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh? Nah, kid. I’m alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm a very good dancer. Rebecca says I'm perfectly splendid. Even better than mom or Miles.” A smile appeared on her features, and her chest rose up, filled with pride. Beside them, the conversation was as entertaining as a funeral. Jamie sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, then. But you step on my toes once,” she emphasized by pointing her finger at the girl “and I'm out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life.” Edmund muttered against Dani’s ear, his warm breath tickling her. Dani hummed, absently. They were in the middle of the room, as the groom and bride should, swaying slowly to the sound of the band, which was located in the back of said room. Edmund’s hands were resting on either side of her hips, as if Dani were to run away at any moment if he didn’t. Dani herself wasn’t sure she wouldn’t escape if he were to let go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to rest her head on his shoulder, so she wouldn’t have to look at him. She feared what he could see in her eyes if she did. Around them, many of the guests were also dancing in pairs, with many more joining as time went by. All of them completely oblivious to the thoughts that racked Dani’s mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She remembered, many years ago, this same situation. They were still in high school, and prom night was right around the corner. Edmund had finally gathered the courage to invite her to the dance, and Dani had accepted without a second thought. She had quite an amount of options, but she knew, as she always had, that Edmund would be the most decent. They had a lot of fun, he picked her up early on his dad’s old car and even went in so her mom could take pictures of them and warn him to get Dani back home at a proper time. Edmund pulled through it all with a smile and even bought her a corsage. It was, essentially, the prom night any girl would have dreamed of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they arrived, he took her out to dance to every single song, and Dani remembered that he didn’t step on her toes or placed his hands on any inappropriate places in the entire night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like tonight. It was as if nothing had changed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dani thought about how beautiful that night had been, and wondered why this one couldn’t be the same. Why she couldn’t allow it to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next to her, Edmund began to laugh. Dani looked up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Flora is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> gonna leave that lady alone all night.” he answered, nodding his head in the kid’s direction, who was dancing with the florist not too far from them. The woman had both of Flora’s hands in hers, and they were moving as best as they could with their height difference.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, nice partner.” Edmund called out to the little girl who, after catching sight of Edmund, began to tug on the florist’s hands, pulling her behind her toward the pair. Dani’s heart caught in her throat, which was suddenly very dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jamie is a very good dancer.” Flora stated. “She’s a better dancer than mom. And Dani. And-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She's not a better dancer than me.” Edmund cut her off, playfully. “I mean, no offense.” He gestured towards the florist -</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jamie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dani thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“None taken, mate.” It was the first time Dani heard her voice in the entire night. She noticed a thick british accent. The combination did nothing but tighten the knot that was forming in her stomach. Despite having thrown up earlier that day, she felt like she could easily keep going. She had to get away from there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if she had been able to read her mind, Flora looked up at Jamie and said “Would you be mad if I danced with Eddie for a while?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all, kid.” Jamie bowed her head and made a small reverence which made Flora laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm sure the miss can give up a song or two, right?” Edmund looked back at her, and Dani, doing her best to regain her composure,put a finger on her chin, pretending to consider the matter for a second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess so, yeah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfectly splendid.” Flora replied, leaving Jamie’s side to rush towards Edmund. Dani took the chance and began to walk away, if the speed in which she did it could be considered walking, toward one of the corners where they had arranged the tables with the drinks. On her way out, her shoulder bumped against Jamie’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having Flora left her side, Jamie stood briefly in the middle of the room by herself, completely sure that she looked very stupid. In front of her Flora, with her feet placed above Edmund’s, danced with the man as she laughed like a maniac. Jamie decided to take the chance and grab a very much needed drink. It wasn't until she reached the table with the beverages that she realized the bride was there as well. With her back toward her, she seemed to be analyzing the contents of a bowl of punch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't think we’ve met.” Jamie began, before she could stop herself. The woman turned around, and jumped a bit at the proximity of the other woman. “I’m sorry. I'm Jamie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Danielle. Dani.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did your flowers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did! I mean, I know. Eddie told me. They're very nice. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, thank you for inviting me. It's a lovely wedding.”  A pause, which weighed heavily between the two of them. “Could I get a drink?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dani looked at her in confusion, then turned toward the punch, as if she hadn't realized she had been blocking the way for a while now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” She exclaimed. “I...uh...you see...I have a problem.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything I can help you with?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is gonna sound stupid.” Dani began. “But I went to pour myself some punch and I...I dropped my ring inside of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jamie didn't want to laugh. She really didn't. The expression of utter terror on Dani's face claimed that this was a very serious situation, yet the absurdity of it got the best of her, and a laugh escaped her lips. At this, Dani laughed as well. It was the sweetest sound Jamie had heard in a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With this new proximity, Dani noticed every feature in the florist’s face: her blue eyes, the dimples on either side of her bright, gorgeous smile. She felt the urge to run away once again. But she couldn't, not with her wedding ring swimming in punch. If someone were to find out, she would never be able to live it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you tried with the ladle?” Jamie proposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didn't work out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...and it's too big to empty out.” The florist added, more to herself than to Dani. “Alright, cover me. I’m going in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dani's eyes widened in horror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your dress.” Jamie explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Nobody's going to want to drink this bloody punch if they see me sticking my hands into it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Dani muttered, and the next thing she knew, Jamie was placing one hand on her hip and pulling her out of the way. The contact lasted a second, which seemed to extend longer for Dani, and left a burning heat on the skin where her hand had been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jamie rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed, before sticking her hand inside the punch. Like she didn’t expect her night to go this way. As her fingers searched through the sea of sliced fruit, she heard a person approach them and panicked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peter, Edmund’s best friend, was making his way to the table. He looked very elegant in his blue suit, though it was clear this wasn’t his first drink of the night, and it was nowhere near being the last.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Danielle.” He greeted, and offered her a wide smile. Dani smiled back, despite the discomfort. “Are you gatekeeping the punch?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No. I’m...I’m just...I’m making sure they kids don’t get near it, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peter scrutinized her face for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah, that Miles kid is a tiny bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I wouldn’t say-” she was cut off by Jamie, who showed up from behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, hello there.” Peter said, his attention clearly deviated to something else. “Who are you, and why haven't I seen you before?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is Jamie.” Dani explained. “She's the florist.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peter's smile only grew wider, if possible. It looked almost predatory. Dani felt uncomfortable, stuck there in the middle of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Peter.” He said to Jamie, who only paid attention to him out of politeness, and extended a hand towards her. “But you can call me anything you'd like.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I'm sure I will.” Jamie replied, reaching her own hand -the one which had a slightly red tint due to the punch, Dani noticed- to shake his. Peter stared at her blankly once he realized how sticky her hand was. Dani couldn't help but laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he left in order to pour himself a drink, Jamie very discreetly handed the ring back to Dani, her fingertips brushing gently against hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Dani breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I owe you one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The florist glanced at her briefly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'll make sure to hold you to it.” She replied, before winking at her and disappearing into the crowd.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Whew.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Peter whistled, appearing next to her with a glass full of punch this time. “Do you think she’d want to dance with me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dani wanted to say that no, Jamie did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>have any interest in dancing with him, or having any sort of interaction with him for that matter. After all Peter, aside from being Edmund’s best friend, was perhaps the most annoying and downright disgusting man Dani had ever met. Those who knew him so intimately knew of the awful ways in which he often liked to treat women, and despite not knowing Jamie at all, Dani didn't want that for her. She told herself that she wouldn't wish that on any woman in general. That didn’t mean, however, that Jamie would share her opinion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, it didn’t really matter what she thought, because Peter was already gone before she could answer, his feet quickly approaching the table where the Wingraves were sitting, Flora plopped down on a chair next to Jamie, clearly exhausted from dancing with Edmund. Dani watched from afar as he sat down next to Flora, pretended to be interested in whatever she and Jamie were talking about, and then nonchalantly invited Flora to fuck off somewhere else. Well, he obviously didn’t use the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck off</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he might as well had. The girl stood up and went over to her brother, who for once didn’t tell her to fuck off as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Dani was not good at lip reading, but she didn’t have to to realize that Peter was beginning to play his cards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it was to any relief for her, Jamie looked annoyed at both the fact that he had dismissed Flora so rudely, and the fact that he insisted on talking to her. Peter, though, didn’t seem to notice - or didn’t want to. He kept taking gulps of his drink and talking about God knows what. Just as the music ended, the upbeat track was replaced for a much slower one,and Dani witnessed as Peter put an arm around Jamie’s shoulders and invited her to the dance floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please say no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dani thought. The idea left as suddenly as it came, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. Jamie was free to dance with Peter, or even to leave with him at the end of the night, and it was none of Dani’s business. It couldn’t be. She forced herself to look away, and then forced her feet, which seemed stubborn on paralyzing her next to the drink’s table like some sort of teacher trying to make sure none of the kids spiked the punch at the school dance, and went back to Edmund, who was expecting her with his arms open for yet another slow dance. This is where she was supposed to be, what she should be worried about. Nothing else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything good?” Edmund asked, pulling her close to him. Dani nodded, doing her best not to ruin what was perhaps the best night in his life. It was always like that for her, never truly enjoying things, just doing what was expected of her or whatever was necessary to make sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> people would enjoy said things. She did not remember a moment in her adult life in which she had been truly happy, in which she didn’t have to pretend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything’s perfect.” Dani replied, her eyes tracing the features of Edmund’s face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s perfectly splendid</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought, but didn’t say a thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Away from where Dani and Edmund were once again dancing, Peter and Jamie were doing the same. Or attempting to. Peter would step on her feet often and he reeked of alcohol, which Jamie was sadly too close to smell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were at that moment of the night where most of the invitees were either dancing or getting shitfaced, or both. Across the room it was all laughter and poorly coordinated dance moves, with the occasional person slipping and falling on their ass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Miles and Flora were dancing, and Jamie got the impression that they were the only members of the Wingrave family that were having any fun. Dominic and Charlotte were sitting at the table, the former completely wasted and yet still drinking, blurting out words that made no sense to his wife, who looked as if she was capable of committing manslaughter, or suicide, or both. Jamie felt bad for the poor woman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was not, however, the only poor woman Jamie felt bad about at the party. The exchange with Danielle -</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dani,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she corrected herself-, although brief and rather insignificant, had left her more shaken up than she'd like to admit. Jamie scolded herself. What was she thinking? </span>
  <em>
    <span>It was the bride, for fuck’s sake!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sure, she had heard -and seen- of brides bailing on their weddings to run away with some other man, but with another woman? It was insane to even think about it. And, even still, she barely knew her, and Jamie was pretty sure  that after that night Dani Clayton would become just another memory stored in the back of her mind, until she eventually forgets about it, like she did with every single woman she felt any sort of interest in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Penny for your thoughts.” Peter muttered, giving her a compliant smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm just thinking about how beautiful this wedding is. Don't you think?” Jamie replied absently. Her interest in the conversation, or the man, for that matter, was little to none, but Peter looked like the kind of man who wouldn't take no for an answer, and Jamie figured it would be less of a headache to play along with it for a while instead of straight up rejecting him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do love a good wedding. Especially when I get to go home with a beautiful woman.” He slurred, his voice thick with alcohol and unspoken, yet heavily insinuated, propositions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I imagine that doesn't happen often.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You'd be surprised. It's not easy to resist my charm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it hasn't posed a problem to me, actually.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You're just playing hard to get, that's a quality I admire in a woman. It makes victory taste even sweeter.” He smirked at her. “Look, I know I can come across as a bit of a jerk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bit?” Jamie muttered, raising her eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...But I'm a very sensitive man.” He proceeded, if he had heard her, he didn't show any signs of it. “Underneath this beautiful face and muscle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't really dig muscular men.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>or any men, for that matter</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Jamie figured that revealing that information to Peter would only cause more annoyance to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet you’ll change your mind before the night is through.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Dani had reached a certain state of tranquility, it disappeared the instant her eyes landed on Peter and Jamie, dancing together as if they were the best of friends -or something more. Dani felt her stomach sink, the sight drawing her back to her high school years for the second time that night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was, once again, at the senior prom, and she was still dancing with Edmund, sweet Edmund, who didn’t step on her feet once, but she did not remember the warm, happy feeling of sharing a beautiful moment with her best friend, she now remembered the bitter taste in her mouth as she stared at Taylor, who was across from them, dancing with some boy Dani didn’t even know. Rather than wondering why she had suppressed that memory -</span>
  <em>
    <span>you know why</span>
  </em>
  <span>-, Dani wondered why it was coming back to her now, now that doubting herself further was the last thing she needed. She told herself that it was normal, that it was normal to find other women attractive, or that it was normal to feel jealous -no, not jealous. Dani </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>be jealous of Peter. It was not her place.- that it was normal to feel bad about women dating shitty men, she finished. Except it wasn’t. And she knew that very well, she had lived most of her life knowing that it wasn’t normal and fearing those feelings that would awaken in her from time to time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me a minute.” Dani said to Edmund, who looked confused but asked no questions. She stormed out of the room, into the cold air of the night, and leaned against the wall. Once she was sure no one would see her, Dani began to cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She cried for everything. She cried for this beautiful wedding that had taken so much time and money and she was essentially ruining, she cried for herself, because she knew she would never find real happiness in her life, not being </span>
  <em>
    <span>like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and she cried for Edmund who didn’t have the slightest clue about any of this. She cried until she couldn’t breathe anymore, her makeup ruined by the tears and her face all puffy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ey, you alright?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>No,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dani thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not you. Not now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But Jamie was there, as real as a human being could be. She was lighting herself a cigarette. When she took a drag, the smoke framed her blue eyes, giving it a strange, almost ethereal look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Dani began, her voice shaky. “Don’t worry about it.” She concluded, but as soon as she did, she began to cry again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The florist stared at her, unsure of how to deal with the situation. Should she hold her? Was that even appropriate for two people who were essentially strangers? Jamie felt that if she were to hold her, though, it would only make things worse. So she didn’t do anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, this is not the first time this has happened. And it won’t be the last.” Jamie began. Dani wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked up at her. “Lots of women go through the same thing. Marriage is a cunt. It is really fucking scary. It’s common to feel like you’re going to die or that the world is going to end because you’re getting yourself into something you know nothing about. But you’re doing it with someone you love.” Dani made a grimace, one that Jamie didn’t seem to pick up on. “And it’s gonna be scary and shitty until it’s not. And that someone is gonna be there with you through it all, and they will still be there once it’s over. Because they love you, and you know it. And you love them, and they know it. And nothing else makes sense, or matters. You know how many people spend their entire lives looking for what you and Edmund have?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jamie stopped herself, realizing that she was stepping in some dangerous territory. She took another drag of her cigarette, and then offered it to Dani, who at least had stopped crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Dani muttered, sniffing. Then, she took a drag of the cigarette and returned it to Jamie, who raised her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Keep it, you need it more than I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so embarrassed.” Dani confessed. She was now laughing, the sound ringing in Jamie’s ears. “This is</span>
  <em>
    <span> so</span>
  </em>
  <span> not part of your job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It ain’t.” Jamie nodded. “But it’s my favorite part of any wedding...Well, right after the part where the best man shags the one bridesmaid he shouldn’t.” They both laughed at this, the tension in the air evaporating like the clouds of smoke between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God I hope Peter doesn’t try to hook up with Eleanor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The pretty one?” Jamie proposed, and Dani nodded. “Hate to tell you, love, but he’s right on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“No” Dani replied, grinning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup, he told me. He said “I’m gonna shag her so bad the entire wedding’s gonna hear us.””</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said that, he said “shag.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look at me, I’m just the messenger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They continued to laugh, like two friends who had known each other for a long time. And maybe they had. Maybe they had met before, in another life, and that's why Dani felt so strongly about her. It had to be that. There was nothing wrong with her, they were just two friends reuniting after a very long journey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna have a beautiful marriage.” Jamie said, more serious this time. “Trust me. That bloke, he absolutely adores you. He asked me about every single flower. Every. Single. Fucking. Flower. Because he wanted something special for the wedding. You’re gonna be very happy with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if I’m not?” Dani asked, and they both stared at each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then there will be other people. There will be so many people who’ll love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Jamie. For everything, I mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, love. But I’m gonna have to charge you now. You see, the whole florist gig is just a cover up: I am actually a therapist.” That earned her another laugh from Dani. After the laughter died out, both women stood in silence, staring at each other. Neither daring to say a word out of fear of ruining the moment, if what they were sharing was a moment at all. Dani felt panic threatening to take over her once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I better go back in.” Dani blurted out, and began to walk away. Jamie found it delightful, the way she would walk, bent slightly forward and her shoulders broad, her hands balled into fists. It made her look almost comical. Jamie realized that she liked this woman. But she also realized that everything she had told her was true, that Edmund </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> love her and that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> both going to have a beautiful, long marriage. Which was why Jamie could not intervene. Not that she was planning to, it was just that, for a second, she allowed herself to think of a world in which something between her and Dani Clayton could be a possibility. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the chin wag.” Jamie called out after her, but Dani was already gone.  </span>
</p>
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